Rambling Dispatches: Bynes and Bieber

amanda bynes

Every Thursday in Rambling Dispatches, resident malcontent Quinn McGee rants about whatever he damn well pleases.

So just when I thought there’d be no celebrity news for me to talk about this week, two individuals had my back. See, celebrities are incredibly smart when it comes to press. You notice that when they do something good or charitable; there’s someone reporting on it like it was the greatest thing to ever happen. (Pro tip: people do nice things all the time.) And when a celebrity does something horrible, they at least get some negative attention. They usually only do crazy things when they absolutely need the attention for some award show, some new movie coming out, the announcement of a tour or just about anything else you can think of. The current season we’re in doesn’t have a lot of releases in anything or award shows. All of the big festivities have passed, so we’re in the dry season until summer movies and the red carpet affairs they can draw arrive. So when a celebrity makes it into the news for something crazy during this time of year, you can assume that it’s some real crazy coming to the surface, rather than some pull to get attention. And luckily for Random Dispatches, two celebrities decided to go and ride the train of bad decisions this week.

First, congratulations are in order to Justin Bieber for winning every Apples to Apples game ever played. I’ve talked about him in the past, and really hoped he would start acting like the role model he’s been forced to become, but as usual I was wrong about this. For those of you who have not heard about the latest fiasco from Justin Bieber’s European tour, the singer reportedly left a special message in the guestbook of the Anne Frank House museum. The message: “Truly inspiring to be able to come here. Anne was a great girl. Hopefully she would have been a Belieber.” Why is this comment so horrible? Sure, worse things have been said all over the internet by the trolls that inhabit it. But Bieber managed to drag Anne Frank into it.

The thing that gets me about this comment is that it would appear light-hearted and juvenile if it wasn’t made by someone who went all their way to a museum dedicated to the memory of the person, who was 19 years old, and didn’t fucking sign it in the guest book that everyone sees and signs when they leave. If some little girl or boy who just so happens to be a Justin Bieber fan said this online or in passing after hearing about who Anne Frank was, it would be a sweet little comment, almost adorable coming from their lips. However, this was a comment made by the artist himself, who used the nickname for his group of fans, and that’s about it. It’s the mentality of a person who thinks they are the only one who matters. Let’s be real here: who learns about Anne Frank and thinks about how much of a fan of themselves they would be? You learn about Anne Frank and think about how bad the Holocaust was. It’s not all that surprising to me, because Bieber is really just a product of the media, so people young like him just make dumb mistakes that have repercussions on the internet, right?

Meanwhile, Amanda Bynes is in the internet news again, this time for making an ass of herself in a different type of venue. Apparently she’s been a hot mess recently, unusually so for a retired actress who supposedly left the game voluntarily. She went to Twitter and made a video of herself getting ready for an event, which degenerated into a crazed lady making duck face in a camera with house music in the background. (Also known as just another day for most clubgoers.) And if that video wasn’t enough, she proceeded to write a long response to Complex magazine, because if the crazy can’t be summed up in fewer than 140 characters, the people at TwitPlus have you covered. (Sorry to sidetrack, but isn’t a long Twitter post just a blog post or a Facebook update? If I am out of line, please let me know.)

To summarize what the mostly unintelligible post said, she’s obsessed with herself, hated that the magazine was writing about her and she was offered a record deal that she might take up. She also slams Kid Cudi for some reason, and knocks Aubrey Plaza’s photo on their latest issue. So just when I was thinking that Justin Bieber knew how to kill it on the internet, this gem comes around. What the hell is this woman on about? Remember when she was one of America’s sweethearts? I remember seeing her on one of my Maxim covers (judge away) and thought it was out of character. Now we have her throwing insults and acting crazy in a way that would make Lindsey Lohan envious. I just think it’s pretty interesting how some celebrity who retired from acting is trying so hard to make her presence known.

Considering it’s a rather slow time for celebrity news and scandals, this has been a healthy week for poor decisions. These also show that just because you grow up, sometimes being a product of the media is just too strong and beats out rational behavior and common sense. Remember kids, just because you can, doesn’t mean you should.