Culture

Rambling Dispatches: Return of Bieber

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Every Thursday in Rambling Dispatches, resident malcontent Quinn McGee rants about whatever he damn well pleases.

So I know I’ve talked about Justin Bieber before, and that I really just wish that he’d become something better than he seems to be in the media and everywhere else. To talk exclusively again about him would probably annoy anyone reading, as well as throw me into a frenzy because I’d be talking about fucking Bieber again. There was news about him, however, that gave me more questions.

If you haven’t heard, know first that I heard this from Fox News in passing, so it was probably blown out of proportion. (Disclaimer: I don’t usually watch Fox News, so don’t get all judge-y on me. It was on in the background.) Anyway, the singer was caught up in a bit of trouble with the paparazzi when he took the camera from a “professional photographer.” There was much pleading, as can be heard on the recording of the incident, for the brute that is Justin Bieber to give back the camera. Think of the tall bully who takes someone’s toy at school, and the little stereotypical nerdy kid pleading for it and jumping for the toy in the bully’s hand, though it’s out of his reach. It sounded a lot like that. And Bieber played the part of the bully well, because although he ended up giving back the camera, he made sure to take the “SIM card” first, all to more pleading from the hero of the story, the noble cameraman.

Now, I bet you’re thinking, “But Quinn, cameras don’t have SIM cards, only phones do. Cameras have memory cards.” You’re absolutely right, but the 19-year-old child of the internet apparently doesn’t know that, proving correct all assumptions that Bieber really can’t do anything else except perform music and get caught speeding and smoking weed. There was a police report about how Bieber’s bodyguard beat up the photographer, and he also made a statement saying that Bieber is now an adult and should act like one.

That last bit had me rolling on the floor. Did a guy who stalks people, takes photos of them and invades their personal space just tell a 19-year-old to act like an adult? Yep, that just happened. Of course, it was the judgment of a professional photographer, so who am I to question him? Oh, right, professional photographers would be asking Bieber to pose or asking to take the damn picture in the first place. If a paparazzo is a professional, then let’s open the definition of professional a little more. To anyone with a regular sex life, let’s just call you a professional in that, just like porn stars. To anyone who plays a lot of video games, welcome to the realm of professional power gaming. Also, I drive to work and to other places, so I guess that makes me a professional driver, just like most drivers on the road. (I even got a certificate for a four-hour driving class I took, so I have printed credentials. Granted, it was for a ticket I got, but that was just a part of my training as a professional.) Sure, I get that he’s probably working for a tabloid magazine or some website that makes its money off of celebrity nipple slips and pictures of women without make-up with horrible comments attached, but if all it takes is a job like that to make you a professional, then I guess I’ll be swimming against the current forever.

And it’s with this comment, and a bit in the currently pending lawsuit that claimed emotional trauma, that has me actually on Bieber’s side and openly wishing that this paparazzo gets the case thrown out of court and he never gets his memory card back. Emotional trauma? How about all the people that you stalk to get the shitty pictures that you’ll later use against them? That’s not emotional trauma at all. How did we, as human beings, get so good at pointing the finger at celebrities that make dumb mistakes, but condone and encourage the people who hide in bushes and cars trying to catch these people at their lowest. Sure, when people are being horrible just to get attention, they should be knocked down, and when people are making educated bad decisions within their control (just Google Amanda Bynes for an example), they should be looked at more critically. Paparazzi are groups of people almost considered heroes by some, and whenever something bad happens to them, the victim card is thrown up everywhere. Look, if I was hit in the face for getting in someone else’s business over and over, not a single person would blink an eye. I’ve seen fights started for less. Sure, it’s a freedom thing. Paparazzi are free to take the pictures, but for some reason, when a celebrity takes their freedom the same way as any other person might, and hits or lashes out against a person for messing with them, they are instantly made out as villains.

Sure, it’s a free world, and paparazzi can take a picture, but there has to be a line somewhere. I hope the bodyguard gets punished for taking it to violence, because I in no way want to condone violence, but I also don’t think that this guy should get his memory card back. I’m sure a big-time professional photographer like him can afford a new one. I can afford one and I’m just another one of those currently unemployed, Bachelor’s degree-having, non-professional people.