So I have been watching a lot of television while at home, and one of my favorite channels is the Science Channel, because I am such a nerd. To give you an idea of how nerdy about science I am, I have been paying for a subscription to Popular Science magazine for about two and a half years now. Nothing says “I will wreck you” quite like two years worth of science magazines. Anyway, I have been watching Science Channel, and I have seen a commercial so many times that I dream of it. It’s got Morgan Freeman advertising the show he narrates, called Through the Wormhole. In this commercial, he talks about the importance of questions and how many questions there are out there.
At first, I just ignored the commercial, but the more I saw it, the more I started asking myself questions. This one commercial started a huge chain of questions in my mind, but I don’t think they are the kind of questions that Morgan was asking for. I want to share a few of them with you now, and if you have a really good answer for me, please share it with me. I found I have a lot of random questions in my head, and it concerns me.
Question one: Why, after about 100 years of driving on roads, has no one come up with a signal to other drivers to thank them for letting you go past them or merge?
Think about this. All we really have is the awkward wave at a stranger. Someone had the time to think of a whole set of signals for bike riders to give to other people when they are on the road, but I’m here in my car and all I have is an awkward wave at a person who doesn’t give it back to me. Who thought that was just an OK thing? I mean, when I drive my car, I sing at the top of my lungs to some of the most embarrassing songs, because I am in my steel cage of defense. No one can hear me, so I cannot feel weird or out of place, because it is my own personal karaoke bar.
Why then, whenever I want to make a turn past someone, do I have to be forced to be awkward in my own special place because the nice man or woman doesn’t get why the hell I am waving at them. I am an absolute stranger; they can care less, because I am just some guy obviously mouthing Demi Lovato in his car. And then there’s the whole thumbs up, which someone thought was a good idea. Yeah, I’m just going to thumbs up a guy like an asshole because they can drive. So I either have the option of being awkward or an asshole. I don’t want to be either, I just want to sing.
Question two: Are actors and actresses actually excited to get an MTV Movie Award?
I know that the MTV Movie Awards just came on and I didn’t watch. They’re from Music Television, home to musical fare like Jersey Shore, 16 and Pregnant, Teen Mom and Teen Wolf. So they decide to offer out awards for movies, when they can’t even handle the things the channel is named for. Who is lining up for an award from them? I know if I was a famous actor, I would be putting that award as far back in the closet as possible. Gee, thanks MTV for this lovely award, now why don’t you get your own shit together before telling me I did something right?
Question three: Why are people still ragging on Justin Beiber and calling him a woman? What is with all the haters?
Ok, I will be honest: I at first was a hater, because I thought he was just some Disney-like hack who was given adult lyrics to sing. I more hated his parents for letting him be all adult on stage; look back at how I feel about child actors and you can get a similar feel for how I felt about the Beebs’ sudden rise to fame. Also, let’s be real here, http://lesbianswholooklikejustinbieber.tumblr.com/ is awesome. But now that the boy is a man and 18, I can’t help but just be envious of him. I was going to write a whole article about this, and I still might. He has a lot of talent, he can dance, he can play drums, he can sing and when he introduces falsetto he damn well delivers the falsetto. He has everything he needs to be an extremely successful R&B artist. How can anyone hate on that?
Sure, he probably gets more sexual propositions than he would ever know what to do with, but he still remains a one-woman man. That is quite a feat, since the 18-year-old libido doesn’t have the best off switch. I was told by someone that he is annoying because he wears outfits and dances around with that high-pitched voice. This person is a huge fan of Michael Jackson, I might add. I thought it was awfully interesting that a Michael Jackson fan would have an issue with a successful white R&B dancer who sings with a higher-pitched voice, but I will let you draw all the similarities for yourself.