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Rambling Dispatches: George Lucas

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Each week in Rambling Dispatches, resident malcontent Quinn McGee rants about whatever he damn well pleases.

So I think it’s safe to say at this point that George Lucas has not made a lot of his die-hard fans happy. He is the once-proud general of the Sci-Fi world that turned a bit crazy in his old age and started making a lot of decisions that no one questioned, because they just assumed that the guy beating the shit out of a dead horse for years knew what he was doing. He is a testament to the phrase “Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should.” When I heard that he was stepping down and passing the Star Wars mantle to someone else, I was kind of happy. Maybe there would be a new film coming down the pipe, or another original project. Then I read the worst thing ever. Disney is the one assuming power. So in a last FUCK YOU to all of the fans, he sold Lucasarts for $4 billion, laughed at the camera, shook hands with a CGI Yoda and rode into the sunset. (The video was then up-converted to 3D a few weeks later and re-released.)

First off, we all have to believe that this isn’t true, right? Facebook and Twitter was abuzz with all the rumors and people just saying that it was unconfirmed and that someone was just making shit up, like the second Morgan Freeman death rumor this month. A rumor, mind you, which everyone knows is impossible, because he would just smooth-talk Death and make Death rethink his choices. Anyway, George has come out and said it’s all true, and Lucas literally said it was time to pass the torch to someone else. I agree that he should move on to a home for directors who lost their way, but why give Lucasarts to a corporation that has collected corporations and film studios and ruined them faster than EA has poisoned the video game industry?

This leads to the anger, which there has been no shortage of in the media. I have a lot of it right now. Fuck this guy, right? Why didn’t he just let Star Wars die? It’s one thing if Lucasarts became a branch of Disney, and they started using the technology or the staff there to create a new bunch of movies or some things for their theme parks. Disney, however, is so bold as to just come out and say “Surprise, fuckers, we bought your dreams and are making a nightmare in their place.” Disney effectively came out and simultaneously created and salted a wound at once. That’s a lot of anger to get out at once. They could have just told everyone that Lucasarts was bought, and then later told everyone (after the storm had passed) that they were planning on creating a seventh Star Wars movie. And they haven’t even discussed what the topic of the new movie will be. All they are leaving is a lot of room for speculation.

And speculate we shall. We’re all making our voices heard with all sorts of comments about what the new movie should be about. I have already done so on my Facebook page. We will all plead and protest about what book should be made a movie, or what part of the universe should be made into a movie. Some say right after Return of the Jedi, others way off into the future. People are all suggesting who should direct or write the film, but no one is upset that Lucas is just an advisor. Everyone is using the internet to bargain with a company that doesn’t give a shit. It’s like all of us are saying “You can make a new movie, but you should do it like this or go fuck yourself.”

It’s good that we’re all doing this and talking about it, maybe, but you know it isn’t going to do a single bit of good. We are all just going to get excited about what could have been, knowing deep down that in 2015 we’re going to get John Carter 2. We’re going to get something with great source material and beat it to shit with money in order to try and make more money, all the while taking a promising young actor and ruining him. (Seriously, Taylor Kitsch had a horrible year this year.) Think about it. Already, great movies are in line to be ruined by the original Lucasarts with new CGI and 3D conversion, to the point that we’re probably going to lose sight of the movie. (I’m talking about the first trilogy of course, because you can’t ruin Hayden Christensen. He does that himself.) Think about all that I talked about, exponentially multiplied to the power of Disney? It’s probably going to be fully animated or something, with Jar-Jar Binks as the lead.

Here is the sick part, though: we’re all going to see it when it comes out. Regardless of just how horrible the final outcome will be, regardless of just how fucked up the direction is going to be, it’s Star Wars and we’re going to shrug our shoulders and accept that the promise of anything Star Wars is too tempting to ignore. The latest trilogy came out, and was nowhere near the quality of the prior trilogy, and we all watched the shit out of it. No one cared that they weren’t as good in comparison; they were Star Wars movies, with lasers and lightsabers and Jedis and shit. How are you going to look at that and say no? I know that everyone is up in arms right now, but we’re all going to go see whatever comes out, for better or worse. Hell, there’s still the potential that the movie will be good out when of the hands of Lucas, but he’s still a scruffy-looking nerfherder to me.