Happy Memorial Day! This week, the Heave staff was asked:
If you could own a mythical or fictional creature as a pet, what would it be?
I would totally want my own Nibbler from Futurama. I know he was kind of evil but… ADORABLE.
A centaur. How would that not be awesome? I’d have him bring everyone snacks and beers when they came to hang out, and they’d be all “That dude has horse legs,” and I’d be all “Yeah, I know.” It’d be fucking great.
I want Gizmo from the 80s movie Gremlins. I promise not to get it wet or feed it after midnight.
If the 80s taught us anything, it’s that Gremlins do not make good pets. So with that in mind, I would go with the Yeti. I enjoy the cold and he’s like Bigfoot but cooler. Plus, it’s hard for me to not imagine the lovable Yeti from Monsters Inc.
I am going to have to go with a dragon. He would have the ability to to fly ( to protect my realm), could elect to feed him my enemies, and he spits hot fire. Ryu (his name) would be a light shade of velvet and a badass.
I feel like someone else might say this also, but definitely Jake the dog.
The Koosalagoopagoop from Dexter’s Lab.
I’m very tempted to say a dragon would be the best companion (because really, “pet” sounds so inferior and the last thing I’d want to do is insult a mythical creature such as a dragon). Transportation, protection, loyalty, and power – what more could a draco need to offer? Except I’m not sure how one would really ride a dragon. People just seem to hop on their backs and “hold on tight” in books and movies, but honestly, that doesn’t really make any sense if they’re rein-free scaled creatures with nothing to actually hold onto. So I’m going to have to say Pegasus is my choice – practically all the benefits of a dragon (minus, perhaps, such an intimidating degree of protection) but with the added bonus of being able to actually ride and in some leisurely comfort. Plus we could go on picnics and eat carrots together.
Gold Chocobo all the way. Let’s just take a second to enjoy all the ways it is useful: Travels over land, sea, and air? Check. Strong fighting companion? Check. Able to generate massive revenue through racing and breeding? Check. When the going gets tough, provides a tasty meal chock full of lean protein? Check and mate! Let’s see your lame pegasuseses try and match that.
A unicorn. Not only would it serve as my new form of transportation, but it would be the last one on earth ever. They poop marshmallows. Vegan marshmallows.