Culture

The Rapture 2011: Kiss Your Ass Goodbye!

the rapture 2011

The end is nigh! Seriously kids, May 21st begins “The Rapture of 2011”. This is the day that Jesus H. Christ will come back to earth (but probably not Kentucky) and resurrect the dead bodies of true “saved” Christians while simultaneously lifting still living Christians into the air, plaguing the rest of us with earthquakes, floods, and locusts that will sting the shit out of us…FOR 5 FUCKING MONTHS! Beat that Chris Angel!

I want what they are smoking.
The first time one of them shits on my car, I’m getting my slingshot.

There is a beacon of light at the end of this apocalyptic tunnel. We have five full months to party our asses off while Satan and Mr. Christ duke it out in an epic “Fight Club” style battle. And you thought Jesus was some kind of Birkenstock wearing, dope smoking, hippie pacifist!

Get 'em Jezuz!
I always knew Texas would have something to do with the end of the world.

You may be thinking; “How the fuck does this asshole know when the rapture will come?” Good question! It’s math, stupid. Sure, it’s a crazy nonsensical math, but it’s math nonetheless! Let me break it down for you:
The last time God unleashed his wrath and destroyed the entire planet was in 4990 BC. You’ve probably heard the story…Noah…big boat…two of each animal.

Genesis 7:4 For yet seven days, and I will cause it to rain upon the earth forty days and forty nights; and every living substance that I have made will I destroy from off the face of the earth.

Peter 3:6-8 Whereby the world that then was, being overflowed with water, perished: But the heavens and the earth, which are now, by the same word are kept in store, reserved unto fire against the day of judgment and perdition of ungodly men. But, beloved, be not ignorant of this one thing, that one day is with the Lord as a thousand years, and a thousand years as one day.

It’s so obvious! In Genesis God drops us a hint. For yet 7 days. Then in Peter he gives us another hint: One day is as a thousand years. 7×1000=7000. Now you have to add that 7000 to the last time God destroyed the Earth. 4990. But that is BC so it would actually be a negative number.

-4990+7000=2010.

Now every dumbass knows that when you use dates from the Old and New Testament as equations you add a 1.

2010+1=2011 HOLY FUCK!

So now we know without a doubt (because we used math) that the year of the Rapture is 2011, but what about the actual day of May 21st. I’m glad you asked. Let’s go back to Genesis.

Math and Science = Religion!
Math + Science = Religion!

Genesis 7:11 In the six hundredth year of Noah’s life, in the second month, the seventeenth day of the month, the same day were all the fountains of the great deep broken up, and the windows of heaven were opened.

You have to convert the biblical calendar date to a modern calendar date. The 2nd month is April/May and the 17th day is…you know what just trust me…or convert it yourself using this here.


So you might sleep with me if the world was gonna end?

So there you have it. Harold Camping, the guy who mis-predicted the 1994 rapture has finally cracked the code…with math. So starting on the 21st of May we will have 5 months to enjoy amazing group sex, mind altering drugs, looting, and probably a Thelma and Louise style crime spree. I guess we may have time to repent and give our lives over to Christ, but instead, I’m going to make the most awesome rapture mixtape. I hope you do the same and share it with me, because what is an eternity of pure love and peace compared to 5 whole months without the morality shackles of religion?




Please upgrade Adobe Flash Player
in order to play music on playlist.com






  • Brittany,

     Love it!! :)

  • Brooki3

     Hahahahaha, So great! Love the mix!

  • Clinton Watton

     This is amazing, especially the playlist.

  • Christian

     I dont believe this HES 89 YEARS OLD!!!!!!

    • Nathan Stewart

      Well this smart dude spent his long 89 year old life figuring out this one problem…..right before it happens…..maybe we aren’t really supposed to know what’s going to happen. Or maybe he’s just NUTS!

  • Muddytoes41

    Yeah, the playlist. Totally rapture worthy.

  • Rockrose02

    Playlist suggestions: 
    I will survive- Gloria Gaynor
    Symphony of Destruction-Megadeth
    Seize the day-Avenged sevenfold
    xx

  • Jimsimonik

     OMG – I never laughed so hard – however, what if it is true??? Are we going to regret this day of laughter??? Not!

  • Leela

     Oh, get real.  Everyone knows you can’t have a rapture mixtape without “The End” by The Beatles.

  • facebook.com/lilxcabanaxboy

     Freaking love this playlist!

  • facebook.com/lilxcabanaxboy

     Freaking love this playlist!

  • Klue

    nah, my first song would be Cowboys from Hell. Pantera sums it all up. 

    • Woody

       is this klue from UT swimming?

  • Derfish

    How about “Splashing in the Blood” like you learned in Sunday School?  

    • Maia Iboian

      Well, it is 6:35 pm here in Sydney, Australia, and not a sign of earthquake!!! Rapture? What Rapture? 

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_VPKHLST6GOLRH4DW2LH64XZJQA Puz

    Seriously, where is “Eve of Destruction” by Barry McGuire or “The End” by The Doors?!  And of course, don’t forget “Rapture” by Blondie!!!!!!!!!

  • Chrismartin

    know man knows the day,hour or time,my paster told me that we belive what gods word says,only our  father    in heaven,knows when he is coming. 

  • Hellbilly

    ten songs for five months? REALLY? Your playlist is gay.  Where is the hatebreed (destroy everything), Hank Williams Sr. (Angel of death), Tupak (Fuck the world).  Lets rip it out you pussy non partying faggots. If this is the end you better believe I’m throwing down like the Hellbilly I am.  Death metal, outlaw country, and gangster rap with no happy go lucky radio jams.  It’ll actually be a relief from this mindless, careless, rude, unhelpful, complacent society.  I look forward to seeing you all in hell.  Peace niggas!

    • Wam

       Why do u have so much hate ! if and when the time does come ur going straight to hell !!! count on it!!! 

  • Lostsailor01930

    LOOK AT CAMPING’S EARS and SMILE….And tell me that doesn’t SCREAM
    “WHAT? ME WORRY?”

  • Brandonhooker

    My fellow human beings, none of this playlist stuff is important we should be praying because u do not! Wanna see the day when all is burning except those that lived for the good of mankind and no man shall grow wings and descend into the sky except the believer in god, it is never to late my fellow brothers, walk the path of light , all in the path of darkness shall perish

    • Hotkixx

      My question is whose light? Is living a good life in other deities names just as good? Allah, Zeus, Buddha? What religious structure is correct? Muslim, catholic, Christian, zionist, purest? When you stop to think you will understand that some disbelief is reasonable and who are you to predict his word? For that matter what man is? So do not try to tell me about the path of righteousness. BTW you should throw some Rammstein in just for rebellions sake

    • Christ!That’sgood

       Exactly.  Let’s stop living in darkness when we go in our backyards.  We need to use our wings properly: put them on the grill, and roast them in delicious (carefully managed) hellfire.  Thanks for the reminder, Brandonhooker.

  • Brandonhooker

    My fellow human beings, none of this playlist stuff is important we should be praying because u do not! Wanna see the day when all is burning except those that lived for the good of mankind and no man shall grow wings and descend into the sky except the believer in god, it is never to late my fellow brothers, walk the path of light , all in the path of darkness shall perish

    • Brandonhooker

      Sincerely Brandon the believer

    • Sb_luvs_greenday19

      Lol, how do you descend into the sky? Do you live right outside the earths orbit or have you been standing on your head your whole life? Kinda sounds like it…

    • Nathan Stewart

       Brandon I appreciate your enthusiasm, don’t be too pushy though. People as a whole are pretty good natured. You are right that the path of god in opulence, however most people cannot buy into what opulence is other than something that is a dream. Like I said in my post seeing is believing. If people were not skeptical we would not be human. To follow blindly is foolish and perhaps that’s why we have a rapture day. To reaffirm humanities belief’s. But if this is just a bunch of crap like everything else in the media, it will not help your cause in the least. Try a new approach. Plenty of people pray ever day for bad things too. So stop encouraging bad behavior….LOL just kidding but motivation comes from within not from a blog. Generally speaking. Please don’t question my beliefs I have not questioned yours. NO I am not a satanist or an atheist nor anything else you may try to jump to because I am coming at you with something other than bible verse or some propaganda. Part of being a “GOOD CHRISTIAN” is being polite. Not politically correct but polite. I know I am a good person and respectful. But I have never needed a church to do that. I however no nothing of this Rapture Day. I should look into this a bit more maybe it’s too little too late for being prepared but I have no fear of death either.  

    • pastor future

      yawn… 

  • Chard

    Myself I wouldn’t worry to much… its like Y2K.. all the air planes are going to drop from the sky and any thing that had to do with computers was going down. What a joke! Now we have another person freaking everyone out with a end of the world the theory. I guess that fool should have read the bible better.. Didn’t God say that only he would know when the end was near. any ways if God was wrong or who ever wrote the bible was wrong and I am wrong than Peace to you all and Peace to you all any ways Cya on Sunday Morning. PEACE!

    • Babyoopsiebooboo

      I agree it’s like Y2K 

    • Babyoopsiebooboo

      I agree it’s like Y2K 

    • Josh Moore

      It’s not really like Y2K since that was real… It’s just that the computers that had that particular glitch in them hadn’t been used for years at that point. The hype was based off a real problem though.

      This, on the other hand, is using a book to determine an event that the book itself says cannot be determined. Brilliant. 
      Either that guy is claiming to be God, or he’s insane. I vote both. 

  • the man

     as far as the disasters, louisiana floods… alot… i live there. this is nothing new to us. as for the other ones, its called tornado ally for a reason, the earth is full of lava, its just been a matter of time, and  the rest is just nature reacting to how we have ruined it…… Rapture??….. i think not. :)

  • Jerren

     This truly amazes me. I have no words for how dumb this is and people wasting there time, nonetheless I do enjoy the fact that there was a playlist made for this strange occassion..lmao
     

    • Into-the-d

       why the hell do you not have iron maiden? wtf

  • Jerren

     This truly amazes me. I have no words for how dumb this is and people wasting there time, nonetheless I do enjoy the fact that there was a playlist made for this strange occassion..lmao
     

  • Lalaroxyou

    This i way fun thanks! lol 

  • Tuffykipp3

    Does this mean Im gonna miss the New Release of the movie “Thor”??

  • 505slotano

    “Will you still love me tomorrow?” – Carole king
    “You rock my world” – Michael Jackson

    And of course…..”Onward and upward” – Hands

  • Alisonmane

    No “Rapture” by Blondie on the playlist? Cause that’s the song that’s going to be stuck in my head ALL DAY today.

  • Alisonmane

    No “Rapture” by Blondie on the playlist? Cause that’s the song that’s going to be stuck in my head ALL DAY today.

  • Rebekahweinbrecht

     shitty!!!!!!!!!!!!! i didnt even get to the cinema to see the new fast and furious yet!!!!!!! i’m too young to be a schnitzel

  • Nathan Stewart

    If what you say is true and I am a skeptic like everyone else, nothing is impossible. If twenty years ago someone told me I would be communicating with people in this manner I would not have believed them. However I realize that technology has a social logical hold on our idea of progression where as most of us know nothing of this. I myself had never heard of “Rapture Day?” until today….well yesterday.

    Either way I know the weather has had some crazy changes and the financial market seems to have a strong hold on what they think will happen,. I have also noticed a larger Bug population this spring here in Wisconsin next to the Mississippi River, such a large tunnel of airflow would be an easy way to distribute insect infestations……I have seen bugs I have never seen before. Perhaps I am just now seeing what has been here all my life but…..maybe I am just getting older and actually paying attention or forgetting…..wait a second what was I doing? SQUIRREL!  Maybe I am looking into it a little harder than others around me but seeing truly is believing.
    Time will tell, some people think it’s supposed to be a climatic event or perhaps an impact but seriously I’m interested to see what kind of society we REALLY live in?  People being given an ultimate euphoria in doing what they want? hmmm…… if it’s true this could be interesting.

    Or perhaps RUNNING FOR THERE LIVES! I live between two pretty big rivers and I know that there is a-lot of opportunity for the water to wipe my whole town out in hours if not minutes. I should put off trying to get a boat and get one to put on my roof just in case:) The neighbors might think I am nuts, but at least I would have that to my advantage if ever needed……..Then we will see who the crazy one is HA!
                                                                                                                
    ………but really this should be if nothing else a fun summer! 8=*) 

  • Blah

    What terrible taste in music everyone has.

  • Rbegley

     I think I hear the first earthquake coming…. oops.. no that was just my stomach growling.

    I can’t see how anyone takes the Bible literally.  That book has been edited and re-written so many times that it should have it’s own sharepoint site.

    • Godschild

      God’s Word is NOT to be mocked.  Every word therein is the living,breathing Word of my Savior, Jesus Christ……..May God have mercy on your soul. 

      • Jh Pains

        How about this…..

        You are a cunt.

        Bye bye xxxxx

      • Meatball

         Please, for the love of ALL gods, never reproduce.

      • Nathan_608

        I think we can mock whatever we wish, we have freedom to do what we wish and no one can tell us other wise, not even “god” if there is one. And yes, it is true, the Bible has been altered by those who have written history to bring those who believe under them. The bible is nothing more than a weapon to control the masses. There is are a few quotes that can go well with this, “History is written by the victor” _ both Napoleon and Churchill said this, of course not the exact same way, as well as Napoleon’s famous quote ”Religion is excellent stuff for keeping common people quiet.” There is no way that a book like that could not have been altered in any way shape or form to give some one a better image of themselves. The Pope said that he was the only one, and was told this by god himself, who can rightfully put Kings on the thrones of men, I believe that was also altered into the Bible as well, if not then please correct me. That was disproved by Napoleon who crowned himself Emperor. Just because many people believe in the bble does not mean it is truth.

      • Skip

         It’s not being mocked, it’s just being proved wrong.  You need to go and talk to Shealita Baby (albany NY) youtube here.  She is a God Fearing grrl… Oh my.

      • Daseingp

        Oh… So here is the thought.  Since I am part Buddist and part Pagan, my belief in Gods are vast and wide. I live my life virtuously and rightous.  I am not gonna lie, I have had to make decisions that hurt people, but saved others.  If this rapture thing were true (really isn’t) and I was standing before judgement and it was decided that since I am not christian I wouldn’t be allowed into heaven… I would be OK with that.  Why would I want an eternity to worship a secular supposedly omniscent god, when my life was lived to the best of my ability.  I find most christians very non-godly, not rightous, not following the very doctorine they shove down peoples thoats… As per the bible, satan was cast to earth… if earth is hell… So long sucker to your secular god… This has been the bibles greatest misunderstanding yet.  The earth is gonna be a much better place when the confines of religous zealots are enjoying their milk and honey… we will be enjoying our whiskey and beer.   

      • HappyUnChristian

         Bahah what a loon

      • Godschild2

        He’s not mocking God…did you read the article…he’s mocking the idiot that took God’s name in vain trying to make himself famous by predicting the end of world.  God says in the bible NO ONE KNOWS THE DAY OF RAPTURE BUT HIM……HE DIDN’T SAY- IF YOU SCREW WITH THE NUMBERS IN THE BIBLE YOU’LL COME UP WITH A CLUE.

  • Jesus F. Christ

    Jesus Fucking Christ! This is a very awesome fucking post here! It made my day, I almost died laughing. 

  • josh

    I agree with brandon since every sin is forgiven. But rather this prophecy is true or not I have no regrets in my life besides not beating the hell out of my supervisor and not getting the chance to get laid by rihanna. And are y’all serious about making an apocalyptic mix tape with out dmx he’ll atleast be blasting “bring the noise” or “ain’t no sunshine”

  • josh

    I agree with brandon since every sin is forgiven. But rather this prophecy is true or not I have no regrets in my life besides not beating the hell out of my supervisor and not getting the chance to get laid by rihanna. And are y’all serious about making an apocalyptic mix tape with out dmx he’ll atleast be blasting “bring the noise” or “ain’t no sunshine”

  • Drewgle

    Again… Aren’t we suppose to be dying on 21st december because of planet nibiru (according to the mayans).
    I know it’s all bullshit but if i’m gonna take anyones word for it, it will be the mayans over some boring ass book anyday, I mean when have the mayans ever been wrong.

    • Drewgle

      Not just the mayans say this but nasa co.cur also 

  • Drewgle

    p.s…….Who better to bring in the end of the world than rammstein. 

    • Drewgle

      Feuer frei, bang bang!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Ciera

    I don’t know about you all but I can’t wait to see the new “Hangover” on May 26th lol I’m not going anywhere ; )

  • Guest

    Mathew 24:36  “But concerning that day and hour no one knows, not even the angels of heaven, nor the Son, but the Father only”

    • Cbratz8

       lol,  that’s exactly what i said on facebook…:L

    • Cbratz8

       lol,  that’s exactly what i said on facebook…:L

    • Reyesleidy1

      true true true 

  • PRAISEJESUS

    Who will update my facebook status once I perish… 

    • Tmltucker

      any Heaven without FaceBook is no Heaven to me!….

      • Matthewdj1996

         tht is not funny, I am sure when u are there u will be happy, stop tht, yes it is.

        • Josh Moore

          Someone took their debbie downer pills this morning. 

        • Josh Moore

          Someone took their debbie downer pills this morning. 

    • Southbaygirl_32

      I will.  I’m not going anywhere.  

  • Bobby

    Well.. well.. well !  Here we are… STILL !!  xo

  • Some guy

     Worst Rapture EVER!!!. Anyone else agree that this is just a complete load of shit from a bunch of drugged up fucktards?

  • Some guy

     ROFL and apparently said fucktards dont want messages like my last one to show up. Dumb shits

  • Jarron Anderton

     Hahaha I love this post, I love all the comments, rapture or no rapture, we’ll all continue to live in one way or another, off earth or on earth, personally i never even heard of this rapture till just an hour or so ago. Nathan Stewart, I dig your outlook on life, peace and love to all, and what the fuck ever happens! BUT I will agree by saying I high doubt the world is gonna end in twelve hours ;) take care all, and forgive the christians and their stubborn selves, for thinking everyone who doesnt believe in what they believe will burn…they are just misguided. I believe in a higher power, but certainly not a father who would burn his old children for being a little confused or not knowing in what to believe for sure. Doesnt sound right to me, although Ido believe in A god. Just not yours (: again much love and peace. Goodnight, and have a good DAY ALL DAY! 

    p.s. Fuckin love the playlist dude, right on. hahaha win.

  • B-rad.

    Well it is now 7.15pm in australia… and there has been no giant earthquakes in New Zealand or surrounding areas where the fisrt earthquake was ment to hit… so I’m assuming he got it wrong again.

  • Mattarang

    God = Troll

    Create intellegent race and be seen as a loving caring guy

    Dont show evidence of my existence then torture those who dont believe me

  • Nmrichardson5

    Till the World Ends is absolutely essential on the play list.

  • Nmrichardson5

    Till the World Ends is absolutely essential on the play list.

  • Agnostic

    Another prophesy, another scam.  Sell enough T-shirts Mr Campbill? Religion has bee all about lies and scams since Humans first learned to write shit down.  Most of Christianity is based on Paganism and Ancient Egyptian religions. The common thread in most religions are a son of god, born by a virgin who does miracles and then comes back to life. Look it up.  Along comes the Roman Church and the biggest lie and scam begins.  Wars, persecution, torture, intolerance, greed and death are all hallmarks of Christianity through the years. If any God would torment 6.5 billion men, woman and children, that would be the ultimate intolerance.  Take your religions and stick them all up your asses.

    • Rmjhl

      Well said!

  • Agnostic

    Another prophesy, another scam.  Sell enough T-shirts Mr Campbill? Religion has bee all about lies and scams since Humans first learned to write shit down.  Most of Christianity is based on Paganism and Ancient Egyptian religions. The common thread in most religions are a son of god, born by a virgin who does miracles and then comes back to life. Look it up.  Along comes the Roman Church and the biggest lie and scam begins.  Wars, persecution, torture, intolerance, greed and death are all hallmarks of Christianity through the years. If any God would torment 6.5 billion men, woman and children, that would be the ultimate intolerance.  Take your religions and stick them all up your asses.

  • Drbuttcheeks

    how dumb would this idiot look when nuthin happens today.

  • Skoolxbo1

    so if nuthin happens today does that mean the bible is wrong?? rofl.

  • Simpy Joy

    yet … if you actually READ the bible, Jesus SPECIFICALLY says in Matthew 24:36 that “No one knows about that day or hour, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father”. I think that with your mockery and false ‘prophesy’ that you’re likely to get a celestial spanking darlin’. I’d rethink the tone of your predictions…. unless you like a good spankin

  • JesusCalderonn

    aree you serious ? && when we still livinn ima cuss somebody out , they gon be looking mad stupid whenn they find out it’s 7:21 pm . -_____-

  • JesusCalderonn

    aree you serious ? && when we still livinn ima cuss somebody out , they gon be looking mad stupid whenn they find out it’s 7:21 pm . -_____-

  • Kozz_uk_2000

    Well
    this is Christian belief. We still have little time before all hell breaks
    loose on Earth. “They” say. Well actually the ancient Sumerians, that
    Nibiru is on route and will cause pole shift to occur in the year 2012. So I
    wouldn’t worry about today. Smoke a joint, play some PS3, bang your girl (if
    you have one that is) and enjoy. See you in 2012…

    6.6.6

  • Matthewdj1996

    I would like to complain about this post, It is putting people off christanity, by all the bad laungauge for a start, this is shocking. Even though I am christain, this has confused me. STOP SWEARING!!! 

    • Matthewdj1996

      Noah’s ark confuse me:( 

    • Matthewdj1996

      Noah’s ark confuse me:( 

      • Matthewdj1996

        HEY!!!!!! I though christains would already be in heaven, not to be rescuted!! and put to heaven…….. I thought they were already there

  • DIVA

     Its 9:40pm in Australia and still no rapture =) Enjoyed reading your comments some insightful some amusing and overall light hearted humour.

    Just quietly I’m with the Mayans =)

  • Sccrl

    Sounds like you are skeptical. There is no room for that kind of attitude in heaven mister.

    I am going to test my predictive skills and say the next revised rapture will occur…
    In 33 years, not only to match the age of Jesus when he died, but to honor Larry Bird’s number. I can’t wait to see if I am right. Pass it on.

  • Sccrl

    Sounds like you are skeptical. There is no room for that kind of attitude in heaven mister.

    I am going to test my predictive skills and say the next revised rapture will occur…
    In 33 years, not only to match the age of Jesus when he died, but to honor Larry Bird’s number. I can’t wait to see if I am right. Pass it on.

  • Brandyduhhhh

    and they call Zeitgeist a conspiracy theory??? what a Looney Tune!!

  • J favre

     Hi guys, sorry I couldn’t do it this time but I had a long meeting in the middle of the galaxy Andromeda and couldn’t return to destroy the world as promised 7000 fucking years ago (plus or minus a few years)…I will try to come and kill you all as soon as I can find the time. 
    Jesus 

  • Ksimonik

     just re-reading the Bhagavad Gita in case i missed something!!! ha ha

  • Brandyduhhh

    I see no logical way that a sincere and trusting relationship with God is supposed to stem from such a fear conspiracy (if you don’t love me and accept me, then you will burn eternally in hell). In fact, it makes man’s ultimate quest for heaven inherently a selfish one. “I’d rather believe in something than nothing…” Okkkk, so you are scared of an eternal hellfire, who wouldn’t be? But to use that as a basis for your spiritual growth is counterproductive to the Christian faith.
    I believe we are already well into the tribulation period.
    We essentially have a one world monetary system since our entire globe recognizes gold as a basis for their currency. But the power to create a global currency rests solely in the hands of a few private companies and individuals around the world. Nicholas Rockafeller (who’s family is full of ignorant masterminds behind this entire illusion of wealth) confided in a documentarian that the central bank’s ultimate goal for humanity is global microchip implantation designed to keep track of each individual’s finances, possessions, location, etc. Therefore, anyone revolting against anything these select few in power stand for, can without warning be deprived instantly of their wealth and possessions; basically being cut off from society. To me, that is eerily familiar to most Ecangelical Christian views. This illusion of wealth and power controlled the Federal Reserve has caused people to put themselves in a noose and give up their individual freedoms thanks to such B.S. as the patriot act, gps trackers in cellphones, ip addresses used for internet access and the use of signals sent from miles away having the ability to stop your cars engine and lock its doors.. trapping you inside. A bit extreme maybe, but it’s undeniable that we are living in a world giving an illusion of freedom; but the real enemy is the man behind the curtain controlling inflation and interest of paper money because by controlling our monetary value, he ultimately controls everything. Money is the root of all evil. And humans lie, steal, cheat, kill all in the name fake wealth and power.

    • Difanwu1

       tl;dr

  • L Ron

    An like the world was created in seven days sometime withing the last 20,000 years even though the world is four and a half billion years old, and like there was a world wide flood seven thousand years ago but no geological evidence of that ever occurring, and do you really suppose Noah went to all the continents and gathered up two of all the animals?  There isn’t a single number in the bible that adds up, so do you really think you can come up with some mathematical formula from it to predict the end of society, the world, as we know it?  Crap in crap out.

  • Amiller-07

    Have to have it’s the end of the world as we know it( but I feel fine) by rem

  • your6GOD6never6existed

    this guy is retarded. he is basing the end of the world from bible math. the ancients based there ideas of what should be written in the bible by star movements. none of that shit nor any of the people really existed nor happened. there using ancient bedtime stories and turned into tools used to control you by government and big religious organizations if you believe this you need to hang your self

    humans are sheep

  • partydoll

    Should I wear pants tonight? Will everyone be able to see up my skirt when I rise to heaven?

    • J favre

      You should have worn your brown corduroy pants just in case! 

  • http://unmomentdemode.wordpress.com/ Jessica Gagliardi

     Oh wow this is so hilarious. You are a great writer and had me crying laughing

  • jackofalltrades

    This guy is a complete dumbass and needs to remove himself from the earth with all of his followers right behind him then world would be a smarter place with a few less dumbasses

  • randomguy :)

    haha what a load of crap, its funny all the things these religion fanatics come out with its just a load of trash!, jesus was just a normal guy who like chineese whispers has had things added onto the original.

  • Pingback: Episode 391 – Another LIGATT?, Apple plays dumb, AppSec < Starbucks, WACA WACA, Moving Target, Good Norwegian, Cyber Elite & The Rapture | InfoSec Daily

  • Amy

    people who like this site probabbly masterbate in thier own feces,
    and those that stand for what is right..the bible..laugh at people like those who make these webpages.

    • B0bsuruncle

      Erm wouldn’t mocking unbelievers and judging them be a sin in itself?

  • God

    Hello sorry I am a bit late what time is it where am I me and Jesus was on this piss last night? Anyone up for a bit of rapturing? God. 

  • Johnpotter

    Not that I believe this load of Rapture horseshit, but in terms of math, there is no year zero, so that’s where he got the extra 1.

  • JesusCalderonn

    mmk soooo it’s 634 . . . Dumbasses

  • Pingback: The End of Time is Heerrreeee!!

  • Kphimself

    Wish god would rapture the annoying kids that live across the street from me!!! 

  • Everett Salyer

    Thanks to you all for having a good laugh with me.  It takes a special group of people to laugh in the face of lunacy!

  • Zedouchebag

    hey,hey, guess what date it is right now… may….
    …get this…
    24th

  • Zedouchebag

    hey,hey, guess what date it is right now… may….
    …get this…
    24th

  • Adrienne Lidicky

    your article is amazing!!!!!

  • Adrienne Lidicky

    your article is amazing!!!!!

  • Pingback: Page not found | Heave Media

  • Haroldtards

    Haroldtards:Followers and believers in Harold Camping’s prophecy’s.