Transformers 2: Does enough shit get blown up?

By: Dominick Mayer

I still remember everything about the night I saw the first "Transformers" movie two years ago. I remember the un-fucking-believable "Cloverfield" trailer before it, I remember hitting puberty a second time the minute Megan Fox bent over the hood of that car, everything. Is this sad? I'd say so. Like, very much so. Regardless, it was one of those moviegoing experiences that stuck with me, like seeing "Grindhouse" in theaters the way it was meant to be seen or nearly getting ejected from "Ghost Rider" for laughing like a jackass. It reminded me of why the summer movie season is sometimes awesome, how it can on occasions take you out of whatever's going on in your life for two hours (or in this case, two and a half.)

So, now we have "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen." Does it deliver? Oh, hell yeah. First of all, ignore anything you've read. The critics who trash this have in most cases forgotten how to have fun watching movies. Even the fanboys hate on this because of the comic relief that gets worked in. You know what? This movie isn't being made for me, in my 20s (mostly) or for some married guy with a family of three. It's made for eight-year-old boys who like seeing shit explode and have Megan Fox at their disposal until they discover the joys of internet smut in a couple years.

Enough of my tangent-ing, though. Some plot description: After the first movie, Sam Witwicky (Shia LaBeouf) is trying to lead a normal life. He's on his way to college, working on a long-distance relationship with Mikaela (Fox) and trying to smooth over his leaving with his trusty companion Bumblebee. However, Sam finds a shred of the All Spark cube that he used to kill Megatron in his coat, and soon he starts seeing symbols that hold the key to the resurrection of Megatron and the second coming of an even more sinister robot known as the Fallen. With the help of his girlfriend and his new college roommate (Ramon Rodriguez, in a role Jonah Hill was very wise to turn down), Sam has to help Optimus Prime stop the Fallen from taking over the entire planet.

There's actually a lot more plot, but I won't spoil too much; what I just outlined is only about the first hour or so of the film. One major upgrade in this movie over the first is the script. The writers are the same (Roberto Orci and Alex Kurtzman), but this time they've managed to make all the techno-babble about destiny engaging and put it in terms you can follow. Not only that, but there are no logic holes as glaring as what might be the worst continuity error in movie history at the end of the first one (this being the part where Optimus keeps asking Sam to kill him with the cube, but no one realizes he should just use it on the bad guy instead.)

Also, Michael Bay has really stepped up his game here. As much as I'll jokingly hate on Bay from time to time, the man knows how to make a summer movie that leaves your jaw on the floor, and this might just be his masterpiece. "Armageddon" had the better cast, yeah, and "The Island" was actually a decent movie beyond what's normally a decent Bay movie, but "Fallen" is Bay at the height of his powers. The comedic bits are funnier than in the first (no token black robots to be found), especially with John Turturro, who I wanted to strangle in "Transformers" but here actually made me laugh out loud a few times.

However, no one wants to hear me talk about the scripting. As far as the robot fights go, the movie explodes out of the gate and at no point lets up. The opening scene alone, with a gigantic wheel ripping through what I think was Shanghai (it was only identified for a split second), sets the tone for the film. At one point, kitchen supplies turn against Sam, at another we have to deal with a girl who briefly resembles the T-1000 from "Terminator 2." (Side note: her scene in the bedroom with Sam immediately made me think of hentai. That make me a bad person? Jury's still out.) The movie really kicks into high gear later, starting with a free-for-all in a forest between Optimus Prime and five or six Decepticons. The coup d'etat, however, comes later in the film when Devastator shows up. If you don't know what Devastator is, I won't spoil it, but I was honestly in awe watching his scenes.

The acting's also gotten markedly better since the first. LaBeouf once again proves why he's being considered the movie star of the future; he's hilariously twitchy and nervous early on, and a convincing badass when he needs to be. Fox is also much less "breathy hot chick" than she was in the first movie (though I could watch that on a loop all day), and when she has to do genuinely romantic scenes near the end, I bought it. (Side note: at the screening I attended, people started applauding the first time she showed up, but it wasn't the sort of "yeah boobs!" applause I expected. It was almost reverent.) Rodriguez is onscreen way too much as the scared sidekick, and Josh Duhamel and Tyrese are both basically background filler again as the military captains from the first film, but these are small quibbles.

I'll honestly admit that a likely part of why I loved "Fallen" so much is that this summer has mostly disappointed so far. "Wolverine" and "Angels & Demons" were both staggeringly bad, "Terminator Salvation" was almost instantly forgettable and I still think "Star Trek" is so overrated it's ungodly. Also, nobody saw "Drag Me To Hell" and that's one of the best horror movies in years. "Fallen" is the first movie of the summer that really nails everything that summer movies are about. And really, it seems like since "The Dark Knight" rocked the shit out of the universe last July, studios have forgotten that it's okay for summer movies to be fun. So, is "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen" the year's best film? Not really. But this isn't about being a great movie. It's about you leaving with a smile on your face and adrenaline in your veins, and on that basis, it delivers in every way.

Final rating: 3 1/2 stars (out of 4)