Music and Culture Tested On Animals
The Week That WasFriday: Well, there's another spawn of the Spears clan wandering around the earth. Jamie Lynn Spears gave birth to a baby girl, Maddie Briann, yesterday morning. Important things to note: she's 17, and the baby daddy is 19. Way to have the kid anyway, I guess? Also, how "country" is that name? She may as well name her Hillbilly Mary. Regardless, I toast them and their little bundle of joy. L'chaim!
Saturday: The Daytime Emmy Awards...happened, and the huge winners are Ellen DeGeneres and Rachel Ray! Wait, Rachel Ray? The terrorist sympathizer and person whose talk show got cancelled? Yeah, that's the one. Reason #249 that I hate her -- her acceptance speech began with “"Wow...holy cat!" I bet she thought the after-party food was YUM-O.
Sunday: While it seems inconceivable to have anyone in the Meet the Press anchor chair besides Tim Russert, Tom Brokaw is a worthy replacement. He is coming out of retirement to chair the show during the 2008 election year. I'm more than a little giddy to see Mr. Brokaw get back on the air.
Monday: I feel like I should start this off with a swear word, if only to honor the memory of George Carlin. He passed away today at the age of 71. Known as one of the greatest comedians, he pushed his fair share of boundaries, and helped define what free speech was in a modern-day context. He will be sorely missed.
Tuesday: OK, I know we're heavy on the pointless celebrity news this week, but it's summer! That means that journalists are really sweaty and tired, and don't feel like doing much else besides walking into a rehab center to see who's checked in lately. Funny...Heather Locklear has joined the ranks of the rehabbed! She entered into rehab today for depression. All jokes aside, best of luck for happier days.
Wednesday: If you're a band looking for an audience, maybe you could try to leech onto Coldplay's fan base. Make a YouTube video of yourself/band, and post it to a radio station-sponsored section of coldplayontour.com, and, apparently, you'll get a call to join them! Obviously, I'm attempting to form a band, or leech onto one, preferably. What could be better than being on the stage where Viva la Vida will be blasted?
Thursday: I have a little bit of an obsession with obscure lawsuits, but this has to be the best thing that I've heard about in a long time. According to Pitchfork, Devo is suing McDonalds over using their likeness for a Happy Meal toy. The worst part? The toy is pretty precious. It was part of an American Idol promotional campaign (of course), and is called "New Wave Nigel." "Disco Dave" was also released, but no lawsuits have stemmed from him. Any who, our friend Nigel does look an awful lot like a member of Devo -- with a flower pot hat and all. Band members are suing because they never gave permission, and because they "hate American Idol and McDonalds." Fight the system, kids!
Sep 5, 2008
The Week That Was
David Duchovny is addicted to booty, Britney Spears may or may not eat a live buffalo on stage at the VMA's, and P Diddy continues to piss everyone right off.
Sep 4, 2008
The Never Ending Political Shit-show
Sarah Palin makes her debut, but what does she do for McCain's ticket?
Aug 28, 2008
The Week That Was
Miley Cyrus is having a Super Sweet 16th Birfday, Charlie Sheen has to wait nine months before he can punch his new wife in the stomach, and life is good for My Bloody Valentine fans
Aug 25, 2008
Ups and Downs
Canadian sex is way up, while the Hell-spawn cat of Satan is not far enough down.
Aug 22, 2008
The Week That Was
Ellen DeGeneres got hitched, Neil Young has decent taste in music and Harry Potter just took a crap on our fall expectations.
Aug 19, 2008
Disappearing Funds
Nicholas Cage needs to back the shitty movie train up.
Aug 15, 2008
The Week That Was
Girl Talk plans Apocalypse, the Choke soundtrack and some sad deaths.
Aug 13, 2008
Disappearing Funds
They say that money is the root of all evils, but ask anyone working for tips at Hooters and they will tell you it's a lie. Speaking of money, here's some stuff you should buy this week.