Culture

Slow Cooker Sports #7: Hostage situations

seattle

(Photo credit: Los Angeles Times)

On this week’s episode, Ryan and Dom discuss the huge fine levied against Mike Tomlin of the Pittsburgh Steelers for sideline interference, prospective playoff contenders in the NFC, their fantasy football ecstasies and woes, and a ton more. As always, if you have a topic you’d like to hear our sports crew discuss, leave a comment below!

  • Ryan “the pony” Peters

    OK friends, here’s the chili recipe:

    -Dice one large yellow or white onion (I prefer white), and combine it in a big pan with 2 chopped bell peppers (red & orange), 1 chopped serrano pepper, and 1 habanero pepper. Let the onion simmer down.

    -Add in: 2 teaspoons of cumin, 2 teaspoons of paprika, 2 table spoons of chili power, and 1 teaspoon of cayenne pepper. Let it all cook together for a while.

    -Now it’s time to choose a meat. Personally, I like turkey chili. It’s healthier, but ground beef is more flavorful. So, you know, do whatever you want. Whatever meat you pick, you’ll need about a pound, and you’ll need to brown it in a pan before adding it to the onion, spice and pepper mixture.

    -Once you’ve added the meat, pour in one large can (like, 24 ounces at least) of diced tomatoes, juice and all. They need to be diced. If you’re that asshole who likes whole tomatoes in their chili you can just leave right now. Let it all simmer for 4-5 minutes.

    -Add in 2-3 cups of your favorite beer. I prefer something dark, but not too heavy. My recommendation: Domain DuPage from Two Brothers Brewery. It’s a dark French country ale, and it adds a lot of flavor. a nice oatmeal stout will do as well. Let it all simmer for 5 minutes, and then add in about a half cup of chicken broth.

    -Add in all the spices again, at the same amounts, plus 3 pinches of salt, a few turns of your pepper grinder, and 1 tablespoon of cinnamon (or brown sugar, if you have that instead).

    -Let it simmer for 2 hours.

    -Drain the juice from a can of corn and add it in, along with half a cup of bulgar wheat. Let everything simmer for another hour and you’re good to go.

    If you put sour cream in your chili you’re ruining America.