Rambling Dispatches: The nadir of Nadya Suleman

Nadya "Octomom" Suleman Unveil's Banner Pushing Cat And Dog Birth Control

Welcome to a new weekly column at Heave, Rambling Dispatches, in which staff writer Quinn McGee delivers sometimes humorous, sometimes real editorials on the touchier issues within pop culture. This week: The Octomom, Nadya Suleman.

So I want to go on a journey today, and that is through the world of pornography. Now, I am not an anti-porno man, but the subject of this article doesn’t really make me proud. Anyway, a new starlet has entered the porn world, and for those who don’t know, it is the Octomom, Nadya Suleman. She just came out with a film called Octomom Uncovered (link maybe NSFW), if you were at all interested interested. For the few of you who don’t know about Octomom, let me give you a rundown. She is a woman who thought it was a good idea to get in-vitro fertilization with the six remaining embryos that she had at once, knowing full well that people should not get fertilized with more than 2-3 embryos at a time. Anyway, she found a doctor crazy enough to do it. Fun fact on the doctor: he had his medical license removed when the Octomom incident was combined with three other cases, one of which involved him implanting 12 embryos at once. I guess that’s pretty definitive proof that Octomom was doing something she shouldn’t be doing.

Anyway, she has these kids and there is a media storm and she makes money off of it. It’s a fast track to fame, really. She originally stated that she wanted all of the children for innocent reasons, but then appeared on tons of television interviews and even struck a deal for a reality show. I swear, she might be the most irresponsible person I have heard of in a long time. Let’s talk technicalities: human beings are not equipped to nurse or feed eight children. Animals that have large litters are, by way of having multiple udders, teats, whatever. Even if it was just the six embryos and one didn’t split and become a twin, it would still be irresponsible to make yourself have six kids. People who have octuplets or large numbers of children are usually not that happy about it, since it is a huge financial strain.

Did I mention that she was doing this while trying to get her Master’s degree, and said that she would be fine to take care of the kids once she got that degree? Well, she did, so that means she was financially unstable to begin with, decided to have a litter of kids on top of the ones that she had already, and she was doing it for the right reasons? I think there is something screwy going on with that situation. And of course, we followed the media storm about this irresponsible person because it is fun to watch someone ruin their lives, I guess.

So if the television interviews and reality shows were not enough, let’s talk about this porno she is starring in. After everything that she was paid for, like television appearances, she decides to make a pornographic film. Now, this isn’t going to be me bashing a woman for doing pornography, or stating how I don’t particularly want to see her in one. I could do that all day long, but I would rather point out another reason that it is disgusting: it’s like a fetish. She wasn’t asked because she was attractive or anything that normally puts people in porn; she was asked because people want to see what it looks like for a woman who has had over ten kids to star in porn. It kind of reminds me how John Wayne Bobbitt made two porn films (one of which is called Frankenpenis) after his wife cut his member off in a fit of rage. I looked up the man; he is not an attractive man, but was just looking to cash out on something that happened to him, which he kind of deserved since he was fooling around behind his wife’s back.

The Octomom thing is worse in my eyes, though, because it wasn’t like someone came in the middle of the night and impregnated her with eight kids. She was the one who chose to have those kids, knowing full well that having that many is actually harmful to the children and the mother. And what does Wicked Entertainment do to reward that poor decision? They give her thousands of dollars to take her clothes off, because they know that weird people all over will buy that shit. She has over ten kids, so has anyone thought about how those kids are going to react? What about the octuplets? She is called the Octomom because of them, and that’s the name she is going by on camera. The kids, by the transitive property, are their mother’s porn name.  Speaking of stage names, she has also been stripping, so there is that too. I wish I was surprised that someone who gets pregnant for fame is doing porn, but I’m not. I am certainly happy that I am not one of those kids, though, and they are the ones who deserve the attention.

  • Bluebonnet

    I’m so glad to see your concern for Octomom’s children. Most people in the media just concentrate on her, but there are 14 little kids being raised by this bizarre woman. I am afraid they will be teased and humiliated over their mother’s decision to go into porn and to publicize it. Most mothers who do porn use a stage name, but Nadya is trumpeting her name and her Octomom name as a porn actress to the whole world. You’re absolutely right, the poor octuplets will be linked to the porn name “Octomom.”

    By the way, Nadya’s doctor, Michael Kamrava, implanted HER with 12 fresh embryos, not another patient. He testified that Nadya demanded he implant her with 12 fresh embryos, not six frozen ones, which is the story she was telling the media until the trial. Those 12 embryos resulted in her octuplets. She and Kamrava created nearly 90 embryos over a 10-year period, of which about 60 were implanted to produce 14 children. She still has 28 leftover frozen embryos in storage. The two other cases Kamrava was penalized for were a middle-aged patient he endangered by the IVF treatments, causing her to have quadruplets with disabilities, and a patient who had cancer symptoms; he failed to refer her for diagostic testing, and she later learned she did have cancer. Kamrava’s medical license was revoked.

    • Quinn McGee

      Oh, the source I saw said that it was another case that had the 12 implanted embryos. Its still pretty messed up though, doesn’t matter if it was her or someone else. It is a major breech of medical ethics I would assume. And those poor kids are in for a world of awkward when they are old enough to realize that they are their porn-star, fame crazy, mother’s stage name. 

  • I have no beef with anyone, male or female doing porn. I’m sure many porn performers have families and children. However, they use a stage name and do not hold press conferences, appear on Dr. Drew and The View and generally make their porn career into main stream media news. Her uncensored pix, the uncensored trailer and now the entire diddle flick is available all over the internet for free. It doesn’t require age verification (a joke-check this box) or a credit card to view. All anyone needs is a tv or internet access. I guess chaos and poverty wasn’t enough of a burden on the 14 children, she had to add humiliation and shame.
    She also seems to think this one solo porn video is gonna make her rich – she’ll spend whatever she makes just like she did the millions she initially made and will be doing hard core by September, if not sooner.

    • Quinn McGee

      I totally agree with you. Porn is an industry because there is a market and need for it kind of. Its a job, but she isn’t using it as a job, she is using it to stay relevant and put herself out there for all the wrong reasons. And I was unaware that the video was so accessible. I guess the problem was a lot worse than I thought. I refused to see the video as research for this article for reasons. lol.

      •  I’m assuming the reasons you didn’t want to see the video was because you wanted to retain your eyesight and avoid nightmares. After her epic fail at vaginaplasty and labiaplasty, she is one mutilated gross mess down there.
        Unfortunately the kids already have access to her nastiness. She was promoting it on her Sunday night UStream show, in front of the kids. Her oldest just turned 11 and got an I-Phone and twitter account for his birthday. No doubt he has already seen it or at least heard of it.

      • Kidsleepinfo

         You did research for this article? Then you should have gotten the facts straight. Besides the fact that your “research” led you to conclude that she had six embryos implanted when it was 11 or 12, you also missed the enormously important fact that neither Vivid or Wicked paid Octomom a dime to make the video. She financed it herself while receiving thousands of dollars a month in welfare. Wicked is distributing the video and will pay her out of that, assuming there is a profit.
        Where do you guys go to get your degrees in journalism, or maybe it is more appropriate to assume you don’t have one. Get your facts straight.

  • Kimba10

    Thanks for the well thought out article. What needs to be pointed out is that she did amass a great deal of money (about 2 million+) the first couple of years after the octuplets were born and spent it all. She could have paid cash for her home and if she would have lived modestly not had to have worked until the babies were in school, if at all, had she invested wisely. So she is not some poor little mom trying to just make a living and was forced to do porn, this was her choice. If she couldn’t live her expensive lifestyle with donations and government handouts, Natalie Doud will do it any way she can, using her innocent kids as her gimmick.

    • Kidsleepinfo

       Truthfully, you should rewrite this whole article and print a retraction for all the mistakes you made.

  • Tallison Rausch

    Octo had TWELVE fresh embryos transferred & implanted.  For years she maintained it was only six until her medical records went public via the prosecution of her GYN doc.  Her ex-publicist Victor Munoz said she lied to maintain the public narrative that the conception of octuplets was miraculous and accidental rather than the result of an intentional bid to become America’s new high-order-multiple Queen. 

  • Anonymous

    “Fun fact on the doctor: he had his medical license removed when the Octomom incident was combined with three other cases, one of which involved him implanting 12 embryos at once.”
    I hate to disagree with my learned colleagues but he did say 12 embryos so what is the lie, or re-write or retraction needed? Also no one has as much time to devote to Nadya Suleman the the traveling show posters below.

    • Mary

      The medical records and Kamrava said 12, Nads said 6 and 2 split, then 6 plus a double transfer because she “expelled the embryos.” The author of this piece of trash chose to believe Nads and not read the FIOA medical records. Big difference. It’s called reporting the truth, to the best of your ability by reading the f’ing facts on line. This moron didn’t.