The Suburbs: Tales of a wedding registry (or, go screw yourself Bed, Bath and Beyond)


Sorry it’s been so long, kids. The reason the article is being written got in the way of the actual article. Long story short, we moved and loved the house. We are settling in pretty nicely and are now in the process of getting our wedding ready. Our moms have been pushing us to finally start putting our registry together, so we did that this weekend. And you know what? Fuck you, Bed, Bath and Beyond.

I’m guessing it’s pretty normal to start a registry at Bed, Beth and Beyond. They have…house things. Beth started the registry online, so we thought it would be pretty simple to just walk in on Saturday and have a conversation like this…

“Hi, we are here to add things to our registry.”
“Great! Here is your scan gun. Go fucking hog wild.”

Sounds great, right? That isn’t what happened. Instead we got put with a “personal shopper” type person who walked around the store with us. She made us (not suggested, seriously made us) put insane things on the registry that we had no desire to own, or had no room for in our kitchen or bathroom or whatever. Not only that, but she was also making us put things on the registry that were either A) super fucking ugly or B) super fucking expensive. Usually they were both A and B. I think the highlight of the day was when Beth finally snapped (it was a long time coming) at the lady when she suggested we put 600 dollar pots and pans on the list. Listen lady, our families love us. They really do. They aren’t buying us 600 dollar pots and pans. After Beth’s little outburst of frustration the lady decided it was time for her to go to lunch and let us walk around the store ourselves. Mind you, these 600 dollar pots and pans were talked about after the lady made us put on 12 place settings that were over 60 dollars a piece, and 12 silverware sets that were over 50 dollars a piece.

I get that Bed, Bath and Beyond’s primary source of income is, more than likely, from wedding registries. I also get that they probably think they are helping us out in the “overwhelming situation” of picking out crap you want people to buy you. But it is such a wasted thing for Bed, Bath and Beyond to do. We know what we need for our house. We also know the style in which we want the things we need. This lady doesn’t. And we ended up being at Bed, Bath and Beyond for about two and a half hours longer than we wanted to be there. It was a painful situation. The complete opposite emotion Bed, Bath and Beyond is going for. We got home later that day and deleted pretty much every single thing that the lady made us put on the registry, and only kept the things we put on when we were walking around by ourselves.

Then, we went to Target. Target is the complete opposite. Some teenager who doesn’t give a shit about anything other than her date later that night hands you a gun without telling you a single thing. And you know what? That’s awesome.

  • Anonymous

    What do you need 12 sets of silverware for!  Did you buy a commune?

  • Lara

    Common behavior for almost any store with wedding registers, alas.  I’ve heard similarly stressful stories about Macy’s and Pottery Barn and any other department / houseware store you can imagine.  I’m guessing the personal shoppers are under serious pressure.

    Most of my friends just cave and scan the stuff, then delete it online later.  Good for you guys for sticking up!

  • Excellent! Great article, I already saved it to my

  • shalabia

    Ha ha!  I’m just now reading this!  Back six years ago, I think BBB took more of the Target approach.  At least, from what I remember about registering.  I remember they gave us a suggested list or something, but I’m pretty sure nobody walked around w/us.  Times they are a changing!

  • Kari

    We had a VERY BAD experience. Our consultant did all the scanning. We did not have an option. She brought us to the most expensive items and would only let us choose between these. After we said we would prefer more reasonable items (since that is who we are and also to be considerate of our guests), she said, ‘remember we are not concerned about the price.’ I found out how expensive the items were when I got online to review our registry. Our consultant also talked the ENTIRE time–telling us what she had at home, what she would like, etc. We have since deleted our registry through them. I would not recommend registering there. Target was a great experience–no complaints!