Today’s post is for the guys, and what a post! It’s inspired by everyone’s favorite office worker, Andrew “Nard Dog” Bernard! He’s played by Ed Helms, he’s Angela’s ex-cuckolded fiance, Dwight’s frenemy, Erin’s love interest, used to have a teeny part on the Daily Show, and is absolutely fantastic.
(Personally, though, he’s not my favorite. I love Ryan Bailey Howard. And Kelly Rajnigandha Kapoor. And Kelly Erin WhateverHerLastNameIs.)
While we’re talking about Andy Bernard, let’s brush up on some of his great moments.
And look! Someone made an Andy/Erin fanvid! Hah!
OMG I hate that song so, so much. I’m not a Joshua Radin fan at ALL. Ugh. He’s the male Enya, really. Spare me.
You know what I much prefer to Joshua Radin’s music? The music that I used to put together my very own Andy Bernard fanmix! That’s right! Even though these posts literally take me about four hours (thinking of the character, then the outfit, then finding the outfit within my budget, then looking up fandom things, then finding and putting together a list of songs, finding them all on YT, making the cover art, and writing up the post) I have decided to be nice and put together a fanmix because they’re always a big hit here.
So let’s get started!
All of the links go to YT. You can purchase most of the songs, I’m sure, on iTunes or Amazon or something.
Enjoy the mix, called “A little more chain than ball lately.”
I come from a line of WASPs, so long, it leads back to Moses!
Because Andy’s a clean-cut, sport coat-wearing boy with an Ivy League coffee mug.
I went to Cornell. Yeah. Ever heard of it? I graduated in four years. I never studied once. I was drunk the whole time. And I sang in the a-capella group, Here Comes Treble.
Because Andy won’t.freaking.shut.up. about where he went to college.
Sabateur! Sabateur! I’m going to kill you for real. This game…the game is over, I’m really going to shoot you!
Because Andy takes Call of Duty very, very seriously.
I’ll be the number two guy here in Scranton in six weeks. How? Name repetition, personality mirroring and never breaking off a handshake. I’m always thinking one step ahead, like a carpenter…that makes stairs.
Because Andy is a brown-noser extra-ordinaire. He’s practically made a career of it.
I AM NOW CHOPPING OFF PHYLLIS’ HEAD WITH A CHAINSAW!
Because…Andy…doesn’t really know how to not take things a little too far, crossing that thin line between funny and just frigging weird.
Oompa loompa, doompadee dawesome, Dwight is now gone, which is totally awesome. Why was he gone, he was such a nice guy. No, he was not, he was a total douche. Doompadee doom.
Because Andy is downright evil when he’s trying to take down Dwight. It’s brilliant.
And I’m also sorry, that a lot of people here, for some reason think it’s funny to steal someone’s personal property and hide it from them. HERE’S A LITTLE NEWS FLASH! It’s not funny! In fact it’s pretty freakin’ unfunny!
Because Andy punched a hole through the wall! :-O And then he walked away like nothing happened!
I graduated from Anger Management the same way I graduated from Cornell, on time. Now I’m back, got a second chance, and I’m not going to blow it. SO LOOK OUT DUNDER-MIFFLIN. I mean, look out in a fun way, you know? Not like, I’m going to hurt you.
Because Andy is going to try to be nice from now on. Nice and calm and not let anyyyyyone get to him. Right.
Hey, Ange…ela. Ela, ela, under my Ang-e-rella, ella, ella, ey, ey, ey…
Because you just know that Andy watches Glee, sings the song, and wants to be hired by the show because he can totally put together amazing mash-ups.
Just answer the question: Are you sleeping with Dwight?
…A little bit…
Because poor Andy got his heart broken when his fiance kept sleeping with her ex.
Employee of the month. Every awesome place I’ve worked at had one … Bear Stearns, Lehman Brothers, AIG… my summer at Enron.
Because Andy knows that everything he does is awesome. And if you try to tell him that AIG and the Lehman Brothers were a big part of Wall Street’s collapse, he’d probably scoff, make a joke, and walk away secretly thinking you were just a misguided hater.
Erin and I have our first date tonight. And it has to be perfect. Why? Because according to How I Met Your Mother, that’s the date that your kids are going to wait patiently to hear about and you’d better have a good story to tell them.
Because Andy and Erin are sweet and adorable. She’s super shy, and he’s super insecure now after his disastrous break-up with Angela.
Women cannot resist a man singing show tunes. It’s so powerful even a lot of men can’t resist a man singing show tunes.
Now, let’s move on to the outfit. I have to say, this is kind of jokey. Fellas, don’t wear this. Andy’s outfits are a perfect illustration of the phrase, missing the forest for the trees. He gets sooo into matching that he doesn’t realize that he’s gone overboard and the actual outfit just looks hideous.
Here’s what I came up with:
I went over my budget. I used a pre-owned sport coat because I went over my budget and couldn’t find a navy blazer for around $20-$30 to save my life. Whatever.
So I went with khaki-ish pants. Andy loves his khakis and his brown pants. I paired them with a striped blue shirt, and Andy thinks that blue and red go well together, especially when the red is just as bright and warm as it could possibly be. The best accessory with a red sweater vest? A patterned red bowtie, of course. Of course. And you’ve gotta toss a navy sportcoat on there, because you’re going to work and you have to look professional.
Guys, seriously, please don’t dress like this.